.

I think I'm going to throw up.

So this is what you did? REALLY? You made me lose my friend but you kept yours? You didn't even tell him? I wish I had known this sooner cause I would've told him immediately, that way you would've known how it feels and he wouldn't have to find out about it months later. How could you? I had known all along that my friendship with her was doomed but you stayed with him for MONTHS without him knowing? What the actual fuck. I really don't understand. I know my reasons, 'cause she did some very fucked up shit to me and he also did some fucked up shit to me, but what did he ever do to you? He was such a loyal friend. What did he do, kiss the girl you " loved " once, when you weren't even with her and you told him that it was ok? That's the reason why you don't feel bad for doing what you did? 'Cause that's what you told me back then. I don't know if your lies changed in the meantime. Don't you think I know I was the love of his life? Don't you think it fucking hurts him? You told my friend before I could, so you would obviously look like the good guy, a victim; and I was ok with that 'cause my friendship was anyway nonexistent for over a year at that point and I was just lying to myself. I was ok with you keeping her, 'cause I knew that she only wanted you, she didn't need my friendship but she needed your love, or at least you were the only person she would pay that kind of  attention to. But I didn't actually think that you would only tell her and you would be so sneaky and you wouldn't tell him. You made me lose her, while you kept him. You're sick, you're for real sick. I hope you know that. I hope you sometimes feel bad 'cause I don't want to believe that I was THAT blind and that you honestly didn't care how many people you hurt. I feel so bad for the people I hurt although I had way many reasons to hurt back than you did. Wtf is wrong with you. You're for real the worst.

... When I think about all the secrets I still keep about you. You could've at least take care of someone I love, anyone. I let you be the one to keep them and you didn't even do that. I know you don't take care of her 'cause let's be real, she deserves a way better man and I know you also don't take care of him 'cause I just fucking found out. So wtf do you do? How the fuck are you grateful for YOUR second chances? How the fuck are you grateful for the opportunity you have? How the fuck are you grateful that I kept my mouth shut and that I let you tell your story? How the fuck could you not tell him? He didn't deserve this. He deserved to know. He deserved to know it from you 'cause you were the one next to him, you decided to keep him, not me. I made everything in my power to stay the fuck away, to let you have your life, to shut up and not say anything, to let you make a story in your advantage.

Sometimes I wonder if I was the only one who got to see this incredibly bad side of you. You're the worst and that's a lot coming from me, 'cause everyone knows that I am the one who is usually the worst.

I sometimes think about what would've happened to you if I would've told my side of the story. You lied to me, you lied to them or you told them only what did you good, you made me lie and you had this way of manipulating me into thinking it was ok to lie. You had this way of constantly reminding me of what they did wrong to me and that I was just " returning the favour ". ( " Si ce, ei nu ti-au facut rau tie? Mie nu mi-au facut rau? " ).

Fuck you. From far, far away I will watch, only to see if someone will ever realise how shitty you are.

e