!

 

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Boys or girls, hoes will forever be hoes :)))))

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You are a part of me

 

!!!

 

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goals

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memories

" Love me extra "

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All I want to do is talk to you...

How can you do this to me... Why do you do this to me...

22-23-24

Inca un weekend PERFECT in Vama.

haos, betie, dansat pana dimineata, tigari, momente chill si dragute, plimbarea seara dintr-un capat in altul, alergatul meu in slow motion, primul sarut- pe melodia mea, rasaritul in fiecare zi, adunatul de scoici, sex, emisiunea cu oameni prosti, semi-traditia cu inceputul serii cu shot tequila+bere, tristetea ca barul nostru si masinutele s-au inchis, zecile de drumuri de la Stuf la Jam rock la locul dragut de pe plaja, the british guy, conversatiile deep la bere si shot, mahmureala, shaorma, pokemon, " Inainte eram increzut, acum sunt perfect ", discutiile despre prieteni de ieri, ziua cand am iesit la 3 noaptea din casa ( record ), diminetile chill cu tine, pozele si filmarile cand cantam si dansam, melodia Ani de liceu ( wtf ), tipatul IRIS =)), iubirea, " Mereu razi la glumele mele proaste ", Vama cand mancam la pranz, " La ora asta inca beti bere ?! ",  barul cu karaoke si dansul pe " Sa nu-mi iei niciodata dragostea ", binoclul si imaginea lunii, PERFECT totul.

De fiecare data e genial pentru ca esti tu cu mine si desi plecam cu un grup mare, mereu ajungem sa fim tot doar noi doi, inca dansand la 5 dimineata. Weekendurile astea perfecte par a fi saptamani intregi si de fiecare data viata are mai mult sens la mare in Vama, cand mergem in locurile pe care le stim atat de bine, bem, dansam si cantam incontinuu si simt ca pentru momentele astea merita sa traiesti: pentru momentele cand esti treaz si dansezi si vezi cat de frumos e totul in jurul tau, dar si pentru momentele in care esti praf si totul e la fel de magic.

" Imi place ca tu esti ca mine, adica asa nebuna si iti place sa te distrezi ".

I love life because of you. Vama nu era si nu ar fi la fel fara tine. Totul e magic cu tine.

 

Oricat de grele ar fi lucrurile uneori ( din cauza mea sau a ta ), you are my ONE and you always will be. No one compares and no one will ever compare to you, to the love that we share or to the deep connection that we have. I look at you every day and even though you drive me crazy, I know that I am the luckiest girl alive.

We are always in sync. I love you always and no matter what.

.

Esti ok ?

Nu stiu.

Esti obosita ?

Nu stiu.

Esti suparata ?

Nu stiu.

Nu stiu. Ma gandesc ca toate astea s-au intamplat bine acum, cand plecam in Vama maine si pot sa am pauza de la tot. Nu vreau nimic. Vreau sa bei cu mine pana pot sa plang si sa ne distram. Vreau sa uit de tot si toate si sa dau afara tot in acelasi timp, ca sa trec peste.

Vreau sa dau afara faptul ca nu pot sa-mi sarut iubitul, vreau sa dau afara faptul ca nu stiu ce sa simt sau cum sa ma simt, vreau sa dau afara comportamentul lui, vreau sa dau afara faptul ca el nu vede ca incerc sa fiu organizata in viata de zi cu zi ca sa linistesc haosul din mintea mea si ca nu vede ca asta e motivul pentru care sunt stresata cand lucrurile nu sunt clare, ca ma panichez cand nici viata nu e organizata, vreau sa dau afara faptul ca nimeni din jurul meu nu stie in momentul asta cum e sa traiesti cu anxietate atat de puternica. Vreau sa dau afara faptul ca el nu intelege ca mi-e frica pentru el. Vreau sa dau afara faptul ca imi e frua de tot. Vreau sa dau afara starile prin care ma face sa trec, fiind perfect intr-o secunda si groaznic in alta. Vreau sa dau afara faptul ca era sa pierd unul dintre cei mai buni prieteni doar pentru ca e el prost. Nu in ultimul rand, vreau sa dau afara discutia cu mama.

Nu sunt trista. Nu sunt in depresie. Doar simt durere si vreau sa o dau afara.

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I cannot leave you 'cause you're my best friend and I want to help you be better but I also cannot fully love you 'cause you treat me like shit.

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You don't see me anymore. You huged and kissed me and made jokes with me today but you know what's the problem? I had to tell you. You didn't see me. Today I had to tell you to see me. I had to tell the love of my life to see me.

.

It's the same story all the time.

At first, I don't really care. Time goes by and they tell me to care. They tell me to give them my love, my time, my hopes and dreams, my trust. I can't at first. We fight. I try. I finally let them in. I give them me. My love, my time, my hopes and dreams, my trust. I invest myself in them. A lot. It's all good for some time. Then, they start to give me less of their time. Less truth. Less attention. Less. And I suffer. I suffer like hell on the bathroom floor crying. I suffer for a long time because they were the ones who fought with me because they wanted me to care, they were the ones who made promises.  So I suffer. They keep on doing their thing. After a very long time, I can stop. I can stop crying on the bathroom floor and I can, step by step, not care. They don't notice at first but when they finally notice, they get angry and they blame me for my behaviour. I first believed them but then I realised I was stupid for believing them. I didn't want to care or invest anything in them, they wanted me to do those things. And when I finally did them, they thought that they could give me less of everything whenever they feel like it. Bullshit. Don't ever let anyone tell you that it's your fault for the decisions that they have pushed you to do.

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19 iulie 2016

Dupa atata timp, dupa atatia ani, in sfarsit stiu...

" Daca mi-ai fi spus asta atunci cand am aflat as fi plans si as fi fost varza, dar a trecut timpul si am reusit sa fac pace cu toata ura si gandurile; de aia reactionez asa normal. M-am gandit atunci ca voi imi spuneati sa nu va mint cu nimic, desi voi ma minteati si etc, insa acum toate au trecut. "

" Inseamna ca am ajuns prea tarziu. "

Ai ajuns mai tarziu cu sute de pachete de tigari fumate, cu sute de bauturi, cu zeci de betii, cu mii de lacrimi, cu taieturi, cu crize de depresie, cu zeci de nopti in care m-am gandit la asta, cu ganduri si reprosuri, cu schimbarea totala a comportamentului meu.

Dar e ok. Putea sa fie totul mult mai bine pentru mine, dar nu a fost sa fie. Dar e ok. Macar acum stiu.

 

-

" Dar cand ai aflat? Fix inainte sa intri la liceu? "

" Da, deci imagineaza-ti. "

Parca vedeam cum se conectau lucrurile in mintea ta si cum intelegeai comportamentul meu, furia mea, minciunile si rautatile mele de-a lungul anilor.

* E amuzant totusi ca amandoua ne " setasem " 18 ani drept deadline si pentru amandoua a trecut. *

- ziua -

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This is so us

<V

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I've told you that you will come back. 

They always come back and so did you.

.

De la 8.70 la 9.70... Romania, tara tuturor posibilitatilor. Oare de ce vreau sa plec.

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I don't know what the fuck is happening to you AGAIN, I can't understand how you can make me cry over and over again, how can you know that I'm not feeling well and that I need you and just pretend like it's all ok.

You make it all bad and then I have to be grateful when you're good, after you've already done the bad.

Wtf is happening...

Remember why I was in depression? Remember why the cheating came, why the fights came, why the shit came? Because you did the same thing to me for months, over and over again.

I'm smarter now. I won't make the same mistakes but I'm so fucking fragile and you're so mean to me and I don't understand why do I have to write this, why do I have to tell you this again, why do I have to keep my feelings inside again; when we have already had this problem and it was the worst thing that happened to us. Why would you want to push me back into that dark place ?

You have given me so much support but I would rather not have any of that, because every time you help me get through something, I have to put up with your shitty behaviour after you're done supporting me.

You are my world. 

I give my all to you...

... But remember that I'm not some weak girl who will stay with someone who treats her badly. I'm not stupid. I'm not afraid of being independent. I don't need you if you don't treat me right. That doesn't mean that I'm not a fighter. I will fight for us always. I will fight to keep you sane when you're going crazy. I will fight to keep you happy when you're sad. I will fight to support you as much as I can and even more. But I won't fight to show you how shitty you treat me. That's not my job. That's on you. That's your fight to give for the person you love. 

I'm not 16 anymore. I don't want stupid fights anymore with kicking and screaming and crying on the floor. I've used to appreciate those fights because they were our way to solve the problems that we had and they've helped us a lot. Now, I just don't want to waste more time and energy that should be used to love you, not to fight you. I know better now and you should do to.

I am stressful, anxious, bipolar and too emotional but I have never done to you what you do to me. I have never been mean just like that, out of nowhere, just to ruin the good that we have. I don't understand how you can do that and it's not the first time... 

I give my all to you.

MY ALL. I have never done this. I have never given my all to anyone.

Don't make me regret it. Not again.

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Pe feeling

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" Don't wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don't. "

- Meredith Grey

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http://onedio.co/content/18-things-you-go-through-when-youre-not-wearing-make-up-10538?utm_source=onedioco&utm_campaign=onedioco+-+18+Things+You+Go+Through+When+You%27re+Not+Wearing+Make+Up&utm_medium=facebook_paid&utm_content=-_Female_Mobile

Literally me every day

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Not anymore

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=)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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=)))))))))))))))) !!!! 

I have made some veeery bad decisions this year but I have definitely made a lot of good decisions too

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Blair is seriously me always

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Nu stiu cine e persoana, dar oamenii care pun asta pe net cat eu am Bac n-au inima 😭

#2moreweeks

inca putin

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' crushes '

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Pls do something

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God, I've missed that smile and those eyes so much

6.07

7 summers ago, today, I've met the love of my life

This thing showed me that you never know when the right person is going to come. 

I wasn't even on this continent when I met you.

He's the reason why I believe in destiny and I believe that even though it happens so rare for two people to truly connect, when you really have that conexion with someone, you'll end up together ( as friends, as lovers, as something ) no matter what.

Thank you for being as weird and complicated as I am.

.

 

Pentru ca 5 iulie ❤️❤️❤️

4.07.2016 romana

 

Trebuia sa pun asta aici, e un moment memorabil totusi.

Uite asa se sfarseste era invatatului la romana pt BAC, uite asa raman eu cu zeci de informatii in minte, care nu-mi vor folosi niciodata si care nu mi-au folosit nici macar la magicul examen.

* evident ca imi documentez BACul pe blog, doar presupune amintiri *

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Multumesc ca esti mereu alaturi de mine sa-mi dai un sut in cur si sa ma motivezi. 

You always know how to bring me up when I'm feeling low.

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Doamne ajuta

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http://romani-buni.info/2016/06/profesoara-de-romana-dupa-evaluarea-nationala-generatiile-actuale-sunt-mult-mai-inteligente-decat-noi-si-e-vina-noastra-parinti-si-profesori-ca-nu-le-oferim-ce-le-trebuie-priviti-va-copiii-sa/

Genial.

Mi-e mila de ei si de mine

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https://www.buzzfeed.com/stevenkanter/this-video-shows-the-importance-of-recognizing-emotional-abu?bffbmain&utm_term=.kaRoV26dGZ#.qw4n6o1g0J

This is not my case but I have watched this being done to someone else and it doesn't always have the ending it had in the video. In reality, you can tell someone 100 times that they're being emotionally abused and that they should stop it; but they just won't listen to you.

This video shows the signs of emotional abuse so maybe next time you'll know to make a difference sooner than later.

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" Ghita isi simte orgoliul masculin umilit si o pedepseste pe Ana, fiindca nu a rezistat unei tentatii in care tot el o aruncase. "

mor

Moara cu noroc bacstyle-lifestyle

My life in one picture