.

I don't know what the fuck is happening to you AGAIN, I can't understand how you can make me cry over and over again, how can you know that I'm not feeling well and that I need you and just pretend like it's all ok.

You make it all bad and then I have to be grateful when you're good, after you've already done the bad.

Wtf is happening...

Remember why I was in depression? Remember why the cheating came, why the fights came, why the shit came? Because you did the same thing to me for months, over and over again.

I'm smarter now. I won't make the same mistakes but I'm so fucking fragile and you're so mean to me and I don't understand why do I have to write this, why do I have to tell you this again, why do I have to keep my feelings inside again; when we have already had this problem and it was the worst thing that happened to us. Why would you want to push me back into that dark place ?

You have given me so much support but I would rather not have any of that, because every time you help me get through something, I have to put up with your shitty behaviour after you're done supporting me.

You are my world. 

I give my all to you...

... But remember that I'm not some weak girl who will stay with someone who treats her badly. I'm not stupid. I'm not afraid of being independent. I don't need you if you don't treat me right. That doesn't mean that I'm not a fighter. I will fight for us always. I will fight to keep you sane when you're going crazy. I will fight to keep you happy when you're sad. I will fight to support you as much as I can and even more. But I won't fight to show you how shitty you treat me. That's not my job. That's on you. That's your fight to give for the person you love. 

I'm not 16 anymore. I don't want stupid fights anymore with kicking and screaming and crying on the floor. I've used to appreciate those fights because they were our way to solve the problems that we had and they've helped us a lot. Now, I just don't want to waste more time and energy that should be used to love you, not to fight you. I know better now and you should do to.

I am stressful, anxious, bipolar and too emotional but I have never done to you what you do to me. I have never been mean just like that, out of nowhere, just to ruin the good that we have. I don't understand how you can do that and it's not the first time... 

I give my all to you.

MY ALL. I have never done this. I have never given my all to anyone.

Don't make me regret it. Not again.