Always

I've heard it everyday. Almost 365 days. 

You probably have no idea but you're the one who has made me love myself and have confidence. I love you.

Countdown to last chances

Sometimes when you’re young, you think nothing can hurt you. It’s like being invincible. Your whole life is ahead of you, and you have big plans. Big plans. To find your perfect match. The one that completes you. But as you get older, you realize it’s not always that easy. It’s not until the end of your life that you realize how the plans you made were simply plans. At the end, when you’re looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you’re leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered.

                                                                                          -One three hill.

3 fucking years.

 I just can't believe it, you've known me since I was a child and you've seen me grow. From the first time until now you've always taken care of me and I know I've made the best decision in my life that night. 

I love you.

Funny thing is I was actually eating Chinese food right now :))

You're missing the point, it's ok, be happy, bye bye.

Oh and the person who danced with me in a room full of baloons? I would like to know where that person went 'cause she was amazing and she hasn't been around for so long and that time seems so far away like it was just a dream but wtvr really

I just love those #facts

But you know how they say, "gossiping says more about you than about them"

You've turned into a stranger so many times in the last 2 years that it has become a bad habit and I've told you loud and clear last time we made up that I want it to be the last make up and I don't want any stupid fights anymore, because it's our last year. Guess you thought I wasn't being serious. Well I was, I will try not to think that I'm not spending my last highschool year with my "ex-bestfriend" because she didn't trust her "ex-bestfriend". That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Maybe this "ex-friendship" was never real, no one really believed in me or me and I should grow up and move on. And that's what I'm going to do.

When he cries and you have to stop crying because he's crying and you're both sad and confused.

Hahahaha !!

I don't understand how after all this time you can still make me fall in love with one touch, one word, one look.

" You're so beautiful... "

When he looks at you and you have no idea wtf is happening to your brain and why do you like his eyes so much.

Sometimes it's like you say that you care but you really don't.

" E foarte usor sa fii rau "

" Chiar cred ca incep sa te iubesc si nu stiu daca toata chestia asta s-a intamplat fix acum sau a fost de mai mult timp doar ca nu m-am gandit niciodata sau s-a intamplat doar pt ca ai fost acolo. "

" Spune-mi "
" De ce? Doar o sa-ti ajute orgoliul. "

" Eu n-as putea sa ma sarut cu altcineva in fata ta. "

" Chiar imi pasa "


This thing has turned into so much more. I know you're being totally honest with me and I'm being totally honest with you but sometimes I wish I didn't know all this shit.

Them boys ain't like this man.

Cand stergi numarul ei din telefon si simti ca ai scapat in sfarsit de toate prostiile.

I need to escape

"... Si se mai cheama jocul de-a uitarea. Si s-ar mai putea chema jocul de-a fericirea. A! Sigur ca da. E un lucru complicat fericirea. Trebuie invatat cu rabdare, cu metoda... Acasa, la Bucuresti, n-am timp. Am alte lucruri, mai urgente. Nu mai serioase- pentru ca nimic nu e mai serios decat fericirea, dar mai urgente. Aici insa, aici sunt absolut decis sa fiu fericit. Cu orice pret. "

" Venisera aici manate de vechea lor prietenie, simtind nevoia sa-si spuna multe, fiindca viata se dovedise a fi aspra si altfel de cum si-o inchipuisera, iar renuntarile fusesera de atunci multe. Dar alaturi descopereau ca toate acestea nu si le vor spovedi niciodata, ca vor ramane pentru totdeauna straine, reci si impartasindu-si lucruri fara insemnatate. "

Remember that when you hurt, I hurt.

" I believe you "

" I know u wouldn't do anything to hurt me "

and then u go and talk shit behind my back. =))))))))))))

maybe I should've done the same thing. at least now I know. 

I value trust too much

5 dec

" Mi se pare extraordinar ca dupa aproape 2 ani de relatie, voi inca va comportati ca si cum ati fi la prima intalnire. "

This is the END.

If you like the way you are that much, you should go and love yourself.

...

!

" ... and if he wants to leave, then let him leave. You are terrifying and strange and beautiful, something not everyone knows how to love. "

( 21, 22 ) , 23, 24, 25, 26 noiembrie

I will always remember this as my sweet-old-different times.  

Who would've thought

Maybe we’ll slow dance off a building together, maybe we’ll have forgotten each other’s names by this time next year. 

"... So years later, after they met for the first time, he finally held her hand and asked if she thought their timing was right yet and waited for her yes before finally kissing her.

Now, she lets him hold her because now he is the man who has always loved her for her hurricanes rather than like her in spite of them, and she has learned to love his.

Because she doesn’t realize that he remembers the way she had made a forever promise to him when she was sixteen and writing poems in the old worn-out notebook during the day and he was eighteen and failing to control his need to call her at night.

They don’t know that when she was sixteen and a junior in high school, she used to change the way she was in an effort to catch a glimpse of him, only to miss him.

And when he was eighteen, he never kissed her, never dared to hold her hand, hardly allowed himself to hug her because he knew how dangerous letting himself touch her would be.

And she remembers when she was sixteen and a half and told him she was crazy about him and he was eighteen and trying not to get swept up into her by reminding her about the things that keep them apart.

And she still thinks of the time when she was sixteen and three quarters and he let his walls fall down in front of her and showed her his insecurities and she really knew what it meant to feel special.

And he recalls when he was eighteen and four months and she was sixteen and ten months and he told her he hoped their timing would work out someday.

~ Years after this, he held her hand after dinner and got down on one knee and told her he wanted their timing to always be right, and she told him she did too.

So when she was twenty-nine and a half and he was thirty-one, they exchanged official forever promises in front of their closest friends and family and she cried because she had fulfilled the promise she made when she was sixteen and writing poems that made his heart implode, and he had allowed himself to have his dream.

And when she was thirty and he was thirty-one and a half, he dreamt of a little girl with her eyes and his smile and she dreamt of a little boy with his hair and her words and so by the time she was thirty-three and he was thirty-four and a half, they had both.

And so when the little girl with his smile and her eyes was seven, and the little boy with her words and his hair was five, they asked their parents about storybooks and fairytales and she told them about a sixteen year old girl and her forever promise and he told them that with real love, the timing will always turn out right. ~ "

This was put here a long time ago but I just wanted to post it again

" Ar fi f ciudat sa se intample "

And then u just did it

That moment when you both say " We're joking " but you're actually being serious without anyone knowing it.

I don't know if I'm depressed but those last three days were so chill, I would repeat them all over again only because of you. You actually reminded me how much I like to walk around without having a destination and just hang out and talk. 

" Dar de ce trebuie sa gandesti? "

You didn't like it so now I'm not jealous anymore; but if being jealous means that I care, not being jealous means... you know what. Oh, the irony.

YOU kissed me.

Imi e dor de tine, dar m-ai obisnuit asa deci nu prea mai conteaza.

Ma uitam in gol. My pain, his pain.

Orice cuvant parea degeaba si orice miscare in zadar. 

Ma uitam in gol si cu fiecare clipa care trecea in plus, cu fiecare cuvant pe care il mai spuneam, cu fiecare "uite-te la mine" al lui, imi venea sa ma ridic si sa fug sau sa stau si sa plang; sa-i spun ca e un prost care nu vede ceea ce e fix in fata lui, un prost care nu a inteles nimic de la mine chiar si cand i-am spus, un prost care a aruncat, fara sa vrea, totul.

Apoi a inceput melodia. Mi-au dat lacrimile. S-a mutat langa mine. 

(Nu) voiam sa faca asta. (Nu) voiam sa-i simt bratele in jurul meu si mana lui cum ma mangaie usor...

(Nu) voiam sa-mi cuprinda fata intre palme si sa-mi spuna sa ma uit la el.

(Nu) voiam sa stau sa plang in bratele lui. Lacrimile curgeau iar el ma tinea in brate. 

Simteam mirosul de vin pe care il emana si cumva asta mi-a provocat si mai multa tristete. Eu nu bausem nimic, dar eram foarte ametita.

Ai simtit oare, tu, sentimentul acela? Ai avut oare, tu, momentul acela? Sa vrei sa-l iubesti si sa-l urasti, sa vrei sa-l saruti si sa-i dai un pumn, sa vrei sa te atinga si sa vrei sa inceteze, sa-l vrei si sa nu-l vrei.

The problem is... you think you have time.

Can't wait to have this

" In the end, your past is not my past and your truth is not my truth and your solution – is not my solution and your way is not my way. "

...

When you give it all up for him for the first time and he just ruins it all again.

Even if sometimes it's all for nothing

How can the one you love the most hurt you the most? How can he look at you and see all the sadness and just pretend he's blind? How can he pretend nothing happened? 

I'm sick of him touching me, saying "I love you" like it's the only thing that will make everything better, like he just says them out of habit, like he doesn't even care how much he makes me cry and the saddest part is that he's not stupid, he knows how much he hurts me but he does it anyway. How can I keep on saying good things about you when you keep on throwing all this shit and being such a hypocrite. How can I not want something else when all I know lately is tears and "Why you don't love me" like you're such an easy person to love, like you didn't make me close up again... on such a happy day, one of my happiest days, right after I had one of my greatest accomplishments... You ruined it in just a matter of seconds.

You made me put my walls up again and I told you this would be the last time I would let them down for you. But you hurt me anyway. 

" We’ve been through a lot together, we’ve had periods of times when we grew apart and we just didn’t really talk... life is so short and when you have people in your life that love you so much then, you should just always be around them.... "

Please

This is the last time you've made me cry.

" People tend to do weird shit when they are judged instead of just being loved. "

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Adevarul e ca sunt doar o fata care spera sa scape de dependenta de persoane, care spera sa-si gaseasca o cea mai buna prietena dar nu crede ca o va face vreodata, care spera sa fie suficient de inteligenta cat sa reueasca orice va dori in viata  si care spera ca iubirea vietii ei sa nu o paraseasca vreodata.

" And I start crying
And I start screaming
The heavy breathing
But what's the reason?
Always get the reaction you wanted
I'm actually fronting
Tired of letting
Passive aggression
Control my mind,
Capture my soul
OK you're right
Just let it go.
OK you got it,
It's in the can.
Before I played it
You knew my hand. "

Sorry not sorry

Guess I just know how to do shitty things

18

Stii cum e sa astepti atat de multi ani o singura zi si sa fie cea mai urata din viata ta?

Probabil ca nu o sa pot niciodata sa ma deschid total in fata cuiva, probabil ca e mai bine asa, probabil ca in felul asta o sa fiu mereu "protejata", departe de dezamagiri.

Although it would've been nice to be protected by you. 

Omg this is so me and so him

Monday left me broken

Tuesday I was through with hoping

Wednesday my empty arms were open

Thursday waiting for love...

Thank the stars it's Friday

I'm burning like a fire gone wild on Saturday

Guess I won't be going to church on Sunday

I'll be waiting for love

To come around

* I still not know her as I wanted to, but I never could. She made it impossible for me and I was left to ask " Did I help you towards a fate you didn't want or did I just assist in your wilful self-destruction? " Because they are different crimes, and I didn't know whether to feel angry at her for making me part of her suicide or just to feel angry at myself for letting her go. *

"Suffering was caused by desire, we'd learned, and that the cessation of desire meant the cessation of suffering".

Ma pierde si e vina mea

Missed my best friend so much, I want more and more...

O sa fiu aici, sa te ridic atunci cand cazi, sa te iubesc cand ai o perioada proasta, sa nu renunt la tine chiar si cand e rau. Imi faci zilele mai frumoase si viata mai colorata, nu cred ca am ras niciodata atat de mult cat am ras cu tine, nu cred ca am fost niciodata atat de fericita si nu cred ca m-am gandit vreodata ca iubirea este atat de frumoasa.

Am scris asta acum cateva zile. Sunt aici iubitule. Te iubesc.

Your eyes

Your voice

Your smile

Your perv smile

Your cheeks

Your optimism

Your cuteness

Your jokes

Your humour

Your charisma

Your cuddles

Your touch

Your dick

Your heart

Your hugs

Your abs

Your muscles

Your smell

Your sleepy voice

Your weirdness

Your singing habit

Your taste in music

Your addiction to alcohol

Your addiction to cigs

Your addiction to weed

Your addiction to me

Your posesivity

Your jealousy

Your intelligence

Your way of playing basketball

Your way of driving

Your way of cursing

Your way of making jokes on people

Your voice when you tell me I'm beautiful

Your hands on my ass

Your hands on every part of my body

Your dick (again)

Your taste in everything

Your way of fighting for everything

Your way of never giving up

Your way of always having faith that something will come up and everything will be good

Your way of sticking to what you want

Your way of being down but still helping me

Your way of being tired but still coming to my house to stay with me

Your way of making up for your mistakes

Your way of forgiving me

Your flowers

Your pictures

Your pictures with me

Your surprises

Your ass

Your way of being sensitive but looking tough

Your way of arguing

Your self-irony

Your honesty

Your way of being true to yourself

Your way of never caring what other people think

Your way of being yourself in every situation

Your way of protecting me

Your way of going down with me and picking me up

Your way of always having my back

Your "I love you more than anything" Your "koishiteru"

Your Te iubesc

Your way of bringing me Mc or magura

Your way of shopping

Your way of supporting me

Your way of keeping calm when I ask you all of my questions during a movie 

Your way of making me calm

Your way of knowing me

You start to wonder why you're here, not there...

Each day with him is a blessing that I am forever grateful for. Since the day this beautiful relationship started, I haven't gone 1 day without laughter. This is the man who continues to make me the happiest girl in the world. Thank you for always making me smile and being mine ♡

1 year, 3 months, and I still can't get enough of you <V

Always

SAD

VULNERABLE

BIPOLAR

HORMONAL

EUFORIC

RETARDED

SARCASTIC

It's things like being more aggressive or more withdrawn, mild depression, feeling tired even after a good night's sleep. Really, you're angry at the lifestyle but you can't take it out on your lifestyle so you take it out on other people.

Everybody is sleeping and you just cry quietly in your room, hoping for a better tomorrow.

I feel so alone

I wish I could be 16-17 forever...

N-am mai scris de multe luni si stiu ca ar fi trebuit. Ar fi trebuit sa ma descarc undeva, aici, in loc sa ma descarc pe persoanele din jurul meu.

Ar fi trebuit sa scriu despre weekend-ul acela din martie cand am iesit cu "tine", am baut si vorbit si era ca si cum prietenia noastra nu s-ar fi stricat niciodata. 

Nu mai exista "cea mai buna prietena" dupa tine. Nu mai vreau. Recunosc ca mi-ai rupt inima in zeci de mii de bucatele si nu am crezut niciodata ca un prieten poate face asa ceva sau ca ar face asa ceva. Nu mai vreau sa ma atasez iar si iar sa doara. In ziua aia de vineri, insa, a fost atat de perfect... poate ca oamenii chiar formeaza legaturi ce nu pot fi rupte. Saptamanile ce au urmat au fost si mai frumoase - ziua cand am iesit cu iubitii si ne-am imbatat toti 4 si am stat impreuna pana seara, ziua in care am venit la tine acasa si am comandat pizza -, am vazut, dupa mult timp, cat de dor iti era de mine si a fost una dintre cele mai frumoase perioade din viata mea. Ar fi trebuit sa scriu sau sa-ti spun ca imi e extrem de frica sa ma deschid iar, pentru ca a durut, nu stiu daca ma crezi sau nu. I still love you tho' and I always will.

Ar fi trebuit sa scriu despre tine, iubitule, despre cum esti langa mine in fiecare zi si nu te merit. Nu meriti tu, defapt, toate mood swing-urile mele. Meriti mai multi "te iubesc", mai multi pupici si mai multe mesaje frumoase. Totusi, esti langa mine zilnic si stiu ca in toata posesivitatea ta e defapt mai multa iubire decat am simtit din partea oricui vreodata. Si stiu ca spun asta de multe ori dar e atat de adevarat- oricat de rau ar fi, ramanem impreuna. Ar fi trebuit sa scriu despre cearta aceea groaznica din masina, cand afara ploua iar noi tipam si plangeam... si nu m-ai lasat sa plec, desi am incercat incontinuu. Ar fi trebuit sa scriu despre cum iubirea ta e cel mai de pret lucru pe care l-am avut vreodata, pentru ca ma face sa ma simt protejata si puternica ori de cate ori ceva merge prost. Ar fi trebuit sa scriu despre weekend-ul petrecut la mare de 1 mai, despre cea mai frumoasa petrecere din viata noastra; cand am dansat toata noaptea si parca nu se mai simtea nici alcoolul, nici tigarile, nici stresul; doar pura fericire. Ma uitam la tine si nu imi venea sa cred cat de norocoasa sunt ca am cel mai bun prieten al meu si iubitul meu in acelasi timp langa mine. Ar fi trebuit sa scriu si despre cearta aceea groaznica sau despre toate lacrimile din zilele care au urmat. Ar fi trebuit sa scriu despre cum ma deschisesem de tot si desi ti-am zis ca nu o sa ma schimb dupa perioada aceea groaznica, realizez acum ca poate m-am schimbat indirect si fara sa vreau. Ar fi trebuit sa scriu despre cum, in ciuda a tot ce se mai intampla rau, te iubesc mai mult decat orice si te vreau asa cum nu am vrut pe nimeni niciodata. Impreuna rezolvam fiecare problema. Fiecare zi cu tine e o zi petrecuta impreuna cu iubirea vietii mele and it just feels so peaceful and amazing. I still fall for you everyday.

Ar fi trebuit sa scriu in perioada asta... sa ma descarc. Sunt stresata si trista si tot... Vreau doar sa rezolv totul, vreau sa fiu libera si cel mai important, mi-e frica. Mi-e frica, ca vreau sa fac prea multe lucruri, sa rezolv prea multe in aceeasi perioada si pana la urma nu o sa fac nimic suficient de bine, pentru ca nu am timp sa ma concentrez pe nimic 100%. Mi-e frica sa nu ma dezamagesc pe mine, iar. Mi-e frica sa nu dezamagesc pe toata lumea. Mi-e frica sa nu cedez psihic. Mi-e frica de un alt atac de panica, nu mai vreau atatea ganduri si atat de mult zgomot in mintea mea. Vreau sa pot sa dorm. Nu vreau sa-mi mai fie frica, ca o sa pierd pe toata lumea din cauza ca am perioada asta si nu am chef de nimeni si nimic. Sunt suparata, trista, confunza, stresata, nu stiu...

Ar fi trebuit sa scriu si sa ma eliberez dar e atat de amestecat totul in capul meu acum... Nu stiu ce se intampla cu mine. Eu nu aratam supararea. Nu eram asa. Nu eram atat de obosita. Am obosit efectiv sa arat bine, sa vorbesc cu oamenii sau sa imi induc alta stare fata de cea pe care o am. Nu stiu cum sa imi revin din asta desi am mare nevoie...

You were there when I needed a friend.

You made me laugh.

You made me dance.

Life has never been so beautiful for me

Thank you for being my whole world <V

" However complicated our friendship got, I shouldn't have let it go. I shouldn't have let you go. BFF means Best Friend Forever, right? Well maybe it's time to admit that we're stuck with each other. "

I always text you in the end

*tears*

∞

2.03.2014

1 an. Sunt impreuna de un an cu marea mea iubire, cu primul baiat pentru mine, cu persoana pe care am asteptat-o timp de 5 ani, cu trecutul-prezentul-si viitorul meu  ♡. Chiar e adevarat ce se spune, ca trebuie sa astepti pentru ca lucrurile cu adevarat bune sa se intample, iar apoi sa le pastrezi pe viata; cel putin eu asta am de gand sa fac, iubitule :*

* El: "...astept sa avem atat de mult timp impreuna ca relatie si ca momente fericite, incat o sa uiti de toate frustrarile si lucrurile rele pe care ti le-am facut in trecut in toti acei ani " *

U're my man ♡ Tu mi-ai depasit toate asteptarile, mi-ai indeplinit atatea clisee romantice si dragute, m-ai facut sa urlu de durere si de placere, m-ai ajutat cu orice si mi-ai oferit zilnic, iubire neconditionata. Sunt cea mai norocoasa si mai fericita fata din lume, I'm soooo in love, imi vine sa plang de fericire si zambesc incontinuu, a fost cel mai frumos an din viata mea si sunt extrem de nerabdatoare pentru urmatorii !!!

~ You always knew how to push my buttons, you gave me everything and nothing but more than anything you made me fall for you and never get up ☀️ ~

Tu nu esti o "relatie" obisnuita. Tu esti "relatia" si persoana pe care am vrut-o atatia ani. Nu credeam ca vom ajunge vreodata in punctul asta si inca sunt socata ca suntem impreuna, ca dintre toate fetele si dupa toate dramele tu m-ai ales pe mine, ca nu ne-am despartit niciodata si ca imi esti cel mai bun iubit si prieten <V

Aproape un an. Inca putin si se face un an de cand am inceput sa fim in sfarsit impreuna. Doar cateva zile, simt ca visez

" And yeah, we have really bad times, like the ones when I become sad for no reason and you look at me desperate or when you said if I ever tell you to leave me alone, you will pull me closer but at one point you pushed me away, or like that time when I cried while we were fucking, or the kind-of-cheating, or the tears, but you know what's so special about us? Everytime we have something so bad going on, we don't let go. We manage to make all the bad times good, we manage to make it all go away and to love each other more than anything.

You were walking in front of me in the park that night and we were both crying but I kept thinking that it would be worse without you and I just couldn't live without my soulmate "

It's 1pm in a Sunday "morning" when you wake up at his home, in his bed, all alone in his house, because he let you sleep,  even though he had to leave early; and you realize how amazing all those things that he does for you really are. 

14 februarie.

" Te uiti la el cum incearca sa te faca sa zambesti; imbracat ca un cocalar, mimand cum joaca basket si avand papucei pufosi in picioare, in timp ce danseaza ca un nebun. Te uiti cum face toate lucrurile penibile din lume, doar ca tu sa razi. Tu stai pe pat, pe jumatate dezbracata si nu poti sa crezi cat de norocoasa esti. El incearca sa-ti fure macar un zambet, iar in schimb, tu incepi sa plangi de fericire. 

Te iubesc. "

Me right now, going through the worst break-up ever.

Why can't I fucking let you go? 10 days without u and still counting.

Just so you know, by revenge I understand "doing nothing". I'm not going to do anything about us anymore. Because of you, I realized that this is the worst thing you cand do to a person.

Don't waste your words and time on me because I don't care about what you have to say anymore and you shouldn't care about what I have to say either. We're just strangers. The difference is that now, I have the courage to move on. And even if I will ever be alone, I prefer that than to depend on someone who didn't see how much I used to care. 

" Vreau sa avem casa noastra. Sa adormim dezbracati in fiecare noapte iar dimineata sa ma trezesc zambind, pentru ca primul lucru pe care il voi simti vor fi atingerile sau parfumul tau. Vreau asta zilnic, la infinit. Suna atat de cliseic si de ciudat... Pana la urma, cum poate cineva sa isi faca planuri de la o varsta atat de frageda? Cum poti sa speri la un viitor atunci cand stii cati ani sunt in fata ta si cat de superficiale pot deveni, cu timpul, sentimentele?

Stii cum pot eu? Stii de ce pot eu? Pot din cauza ta. Pentru ca tu nu esti ca "ei". Tu nu esti "ceilalti" sau "altul". Tu nu ai o categorie. Tu esti tot. Esti iubire si durere, fericire si tristete, speranta si uitare. Esti "luminita de la capatul tunelului". Oricand lucrurile sunt grele sau totul e pe dos, oricand simt ca nu mai pot sa continui si ca vreau sa renunt, tu esti acolo. Esti aici. Esti mereu peste tot. Nu ma lasi sa plec, nu ma lasi sa renunt la mine si la noi. Tu esti raza de lumina intr-o zi ploioasa. Numai tu stii cum sa ma faci sa fiu fericita, sa ma simt bine, sa ma simt protejata, sa zambesc. Numai tu stii ce sa-mi spui ca sa ma calmezi. Numai tu stii ce inseamna sa nu renunti si sa iubesti din toata inima; iar eu, invat. Invat zilnic, ori de cate ori vad cum ma privesti. Invat zilnic cat de frumoasa e iubirea, cat de frumos e sa apartii cuiva, cat de frumos e sa vrei sa oferi tot ce ai. Cu tine pot sa merg oriunde, pot sa fac orice; in tine pot sa am incredere deplina. Stiu ca am langa mine cel mai inteligent si mai frumos om pe care l-am cunoscut vreodata. O eternitate cu tine inseamna atat, dar atat de putin. Tu esti persoana dupa care plang ori de cate ori fiecare merge spre casa lui, desi stiu ca te voi vedea a doua zi- a doua zi e prea departe pentru noi. Tu esti persoana care m-a facut sa cred si sa simt cum e sa plangi de fericire. Tu esti singurul care poate sa spuna ceva pervers dar dragut intr-o singura propozitie. Tu esti singurul a carui privire ma intimideaza ( *stii tu, privirea aia..* ). Tu esti singurul care are sufletul atat de frumos incat sa danseze cu mine, sa fie sincer cu mine, sa se joace cu mine, sa ma iubeasca pe mine, sa ma ajute cu orice, sa ma imbratiseze strans si sa-mi ofere cei mai inocenti pupici, sa faca poze cu mine, sa mearga la toate filmele cu mine, sa mearga la cumparaturi pentru mine, sa fie efectiv acolo in fiecare secunda din viata mea. 

Ai fost si esti singurul pentru mine, te iubesc de cand stiu ce inseamna iubirea; iubirea esti tu, din cauza ta am ajuns sa iubesc, sa ma maturizez atat de repede ( din pacate sau din fericire ) din orice punct de vedere si din cauza ta gandesc asa cum gandesc. Pentru ca, candva, acum multi ani, am cunoscut un baiat care m-a facut sa simt ca exista o persoana cu care pot vorbi orice si m-a lasat sa ma deschid pentru prima data, pur si simplu. Pentru ca mi-am cunoscut iubirea vietii si eu nici macar nu stiam. Pentru ca mai greu sau mai usor, suntem impreuna si pentru ca mereu am simtit ca la tine nu trebuie sa renunt si nu voi renunta. Esti marea mea iubire, esti cel mai bun prieten al meu, esti persoana cu care am avut cea mai puternica si ciudata *legatura*. Vreau sa fii singurul, sa ramai singurul. "

Remember who loved you no matter how shitty you treated them.

Just so you know, I did care. Until I couldn't take it anymore. Hope you'll understand.

This is something I wrote on February 3rd, a few days ago, but now all of that is gone.

* " Paper has more patience than people ". I thought of this saying on one of those days when i was feeling a little depressed and was sitting at home with my chin in my hands, bored and listless, wondering whether to stay in or go out. *

" M-am saturat de toate victimizarile, toate scuzele si toate vorbele pe care le-am crezut pana acum. M-am saturat sa accept sa fiu ranita, sa fiu pe locul 2, sa fiu distrusa. Am primit suficient din fiecare lucru de genul asta. Am renuntat in sfarsit. Pentru prima oara, dupa atatea luni triste, am curajul sa nu mai iert. Pentru prima oara nu ma mai simt........ "

For all of you who hurt me: I'm well now, I can finally hurt you back.

In sfarsit am renuntat